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| Courtesy of bagpipeband.wordpress.com |
I don't think I have the courage.
I have been so ill-prepared for so much this summer. Who in a million years would expect a confrontation with a police officer while riding a bike on a bike trail?? Who in the world would expect to be interrogated like a criminal for filing a complaint concerning a bike trail incident?? Who in the world would have expected over 5000 people read my blog?? It's just been crazy!!
But what I have been most unprepared for is the hate. And make no mistake, there is an enormous amount of hate.
These people seem to hate so many things. The most popular thing to hate are bicyclists. One person wrote, "I have seen more bicyclist break the laws of the road more than I have anyone else...they think they own the road and don't have to obey the law. I'm tired of their arrogant attitude. These women deserve what they get." Another person wrote, "All bicyclists are pricks."
Others just hate me...based on what they saw in a one minute, thirty second TV news report. One commenter said they were so annoyed with me, they wanted to give me a ticket for being who I am. Another said I definitely needed clown shoes. Others were certain that this was all to promote my blog. More than one commenter felt it was highly probable I was drunk while I was riding, and many were certain I did not deserve to be a teacher.
No, I was not prepared for all this hate.
But amazing goodness has emerged from this craziness. Friends and family have come forward and expressed outrage at the entire situation. Many have volunteered to serve as character witnesses for me. It has been especially touching to have so many students' support. One former student (who is now a teacher) wrote: "You [are] one of my greatest and favorite mentors; seeing you attacked like this really fires me up! I'll stand up for you any day." How blessed I am.
Complete strangers have also sent me notes. These people have been gracious to share their stories and offer encouragement and advice. One of these strangers is now my lawyer...and my friend. There is so much comfort in the understanding of others. I cherish it.
And then there is a cartoon by Brian Duffy. He seems to understand the utter ridiculous nature of the situation better than most. A good dose of humor is always excellent medicine.
And as a teacher, I cannot help but be stunned and inspired at the power of a blog. I have my students blog to reflect on their reading, to share their thoughts on life and our lessons, to respond to the thoughts of others. My "little blog that could" experience will definitely allow my students to see the power of the written word online, and its ability to affect the world around them. So, yeah....there is hate. But...there is also great goodness, too, and THAT must be by focus.
My great friend and fellow biker, Lisa Schaa, has been so very strong from the start. I was ready to collapse, pay the fine, and make this all go away, but she refused. "No, Cathy," she stated flatly. "It's the principle of the thing. We won't let people bully us. We will keep telling the truth." Thank goodness for Lisa's ability to keep perspectivel. When facing the interrogative techniques the investigators used, she had the sense to sit back, cross her arms and say, "Are you serious?? We are talking about a bike trail, for goodness sake!"
She's right....and she is amazing. She walks forward and I walk behind.
The student who sent his encouragement had posted a status earlier that day. It read: "I let my haters be my motivators." I wish I was that strong. Haters don't motivate me; they just make me hurt. That's how I'm wired, I guess. I will work to have Lisa's strength so they hurt me less. But proving people wrong is no motivation for me.
My motivations are my children. And my students. I do not want my son, daughters, students... anyone....to endure harassment or humiliation. I want my children and students to know they can stand up to those who wish to belittle or bully them. I want them to realize their rights and the power of their voices.
Thank you to those who help me find it.
Cathy,
ReplyDeleteAs I read this, I am reminded of a moment in my own life. I remember a time not long ago when I was bullied/harassed by a person in a position of authority. I was flattered at the outpouring of support by some, but like you, I vividly remember being hurt by some who stood idly by doing nothing, or by those who made assumptions about me as a teacher or as a person. I remember many nights where I laid in bed awake at night wondering why I believed so strongly that people are inherently good when they so quickly wrote me off in my own time of need.
I also remember walking into your classroom one morning, several months later, still chest-deep in my own pity party. I still remember the words you spoke to me: "You have to get over this; you're bringing me down." I was furious, but as I let those words sink in that day, I realized you were right. You told me what I NEEDED to hear, not what I WANTED to hear. You have a real talent for that.
The point of this story is not that you need to get over this, or that you're bringing me down. That's far from true. The point is that YOU are one of the great sources of stength in my life. You are one of the reasons I believe people are good, even when good people write me off. You taught me that sometimes, when faced with their own insecurities, good people abandon others because forcing themselves to look their flawed world in the face is too hard.
You are one of the most caring, compassionate people I know. You are the teacher I strive to one day be. You are the parent I wish more parents would be, and the parent I hope I become. And if that means you wear clown shoes, I want to know where to find them in my size, because I know the world would be better if more people were like you. Stay strong, even through the tough times ahead. You are a source of strength, intelligence, and goodness to so many people. Now, draw on those around you for that same strength.
And if people choose to cast you away, forget about them. They're probably good people, but they're miles away from the courageous, strong, intelligent person you are. For their sake, I hope they never have to go through what you or I have gone through, but if they do, I hope they are as lucky as I was - I hope they have a friend like you by their side.
Best,
Justin
You will have the best "what I did this summer" essay of them all next August!
ReplyDelete"You are stronger than you seem, braver than you believe, and smarter than you think."-Christopher Robin to Winnie the Pooh
ReplyDeleteHello Cathy. Count me among one of the many strangers who support you. I'm a fellow cyclist and took to your defense on KCCI's website and on Facebook. I was frustrated by the juvenile, hate-fueled comments and wanted desperately to respond to every one. "How dare they," I thought to myself. "They weren't there, yet they're making these outlandish claims and accusations about someone they don't know."
ReplyDeleteThat is both the curse and blessing that comes with the internet. Sadly, there is no filter for educated or non-educated, well-informed or ill-informed, thoughtful or thoughtless. The internet is also a place where cowards can come out of their shell, hiding in anonymity and say things they would never dare say to someone's face. I've dealt with people who were very bold and loud when they could hide behind a keyboard or a phone, yet whenever I politely invited them to have the same conversation in person, they would always - 100% of the time - find and excuse not to.
Remember this: those who attack you are lazy cowards. It's easy for them to sit in judgement on someone they've never met. It's convenient - no effort required on their part to get to know you, or to open their minds to other possibilities. Don't ever let them get to you or make you feel sorry for yourself: THEY are the ones you need to feel sorry for!
Also remember the support that you have from your family, friends, and all of us strangers out here. That's where you can draw your strength from. It's always easy to give in to negative thoughts - strong people like you stand up to authority that has been abused. Even if you've inspired one person to follow your example and prevented one act of injustice, then you've done a wonderful thing.
On behalf of us strangers, stay strong!
I applaud you for taking a stand in defending yourself. It is so easy for people to say things that they would never say in person on the internet, but that is because they are cowards. May the truth set you free, and get those ignorant people to shut their traps.
ReplyDeleteI think you are incredibly brave. I think that people should get the facts straight before they judge you like that. If I was in the same situation I would try to handle it the same way you did....if I was brave enough.
ReplyDelete